


Bend Toward Joy

by softlyforgotten



Category: Bandom, The Like
Genre: F/F, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-22
Updated: 2011-08-22
Packaged: 2017-10-22 22:43:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softlyforgotten/pseuds/softlyforgotten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It has come to our attention," Laena said, "that you might need a little more looking after than first realised."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bend Toward Joy

It was the first time in a while they'd been on a tour long enough to justify a bus, and Z had forgotten how hard it was to sleep in the bunks. She was the smallest, so she knew that really she should be complaining least, but they did weird things to her back. It pissed her off, and she started bitching about it pretty soon.

At about the two week mark, she came out to the little kitchenette and opened her mouth only to have Tennessee push her backwards. It was a light push, but with the movement of the bus it made Z stumble back against the wall, and she blinked at Tennessee, eyes wide.

"You," Tennessee said conversationally, "need to calm down, Z, really. Life is not all that terrible."

"The bunks are," Z said, and Tennessee was pushing again, stepping forward so that Z couldn't regain her balance. It always threw Z off when she noticed how much taller than her Tennessee was.

"Get over it," Tennessee told her, grinning, and kissed the top of her nose.

Z eyed her uncertainly. Tennessee had one hand planted on the wall above Z's head, casual, and Z was going to fall in a minute, her back curved oddly. It was a strange feeling, Tennessee working every extra inch of height she had over Z, keeping her trapped and off balance, and Z felt her heartbeat speed up a little. There was something inherently threatening about it, almost frightening, but Tennessee was grinning and her eyes were warm and kind as ever. Tennessee was easy to read. Z didn't know what was going on, but she was almost sure she was overreacting.

"I can't get over anything with you blocking me like that," she said, lightly, and Tennessee laughed and took a step back, letting Z straighten.

"Ooops," she said. "Sorry."

Z breathed out. "Yeah," she said. "Anyway. Are we stopping for breakfast?"

"I want waffles," Laena said from the doorway, still rubbing sleep out of her eyes, and Z tumbled across the floor to wrap an arm around Laena's waist and tug her in, kissing her cheek.

"Then you shall have them," she said grandly. "We can stop, right, Tenn?"

"I'll check with the driver," Tennessee said, "but I should think so, yes."

Z nodded, and leaned in a little closer to Laena. Laena gave her a sleepy, confused look, but Z still felt unsettled and when Laena slung an arm around her shoulders that made it better. She leaned her head against Laena's shoulder, close enough that she could almost press her nose against Laena's neck, breathe her in.

"Bad dreams, Z?" Laena asked, but when Z squinted open an eye to look at her, Laena was watching Tennessee, a tiny smile quirking in the corner of her mouth. Tennessee giggled and wandered off, presumably to find someone who could tell them whether stopping for waffles was an option.

"The bunks," Z said, shrugging.

"Of course," Laena said. Her arm tightened around Z's shoulders for a moment, holding Z perfectly still and taut against her. Z's breath caught in her chest.

Then Laena relaxed, curling back into Z, warm and friendly and normal enough that Z felt, more than anything, confused. She said, "Laena?" and Laena made a humming, kind noise and stood there leaning against her, and then Annie tripped over them on her way out from the bunks and everything, Z thought, was exactly as it always was.

\---

"Hey," Z said, hooking an arm around Annie's neck and sitting down neatly on her lap. "How many people do you know here? I think I only _barely_ recognise half, at the very most." She blinked wide-eyed around their crowded hotel room, wondering exactly when they'd get to sleep. She didn't care much.

Annie shifted, making room for Z to settle more comfortably on her lap. "I think I recognise five," she said. "Maybe seven." She smiled slyly up at Z. "I'm so new to this scene, you know."

"Like a babe in the wilderness," Z agreed, giving Annie a darkly suspicious look. Annie laughed, ducking her head so her breath puffed out against Z's shoulder blade. Z shivered, and then flushed, but she was pretty sure she'd gotten away with it without Annie noticing. The whole room was abuzz with movement, and Annie was tapping her foot along to the record playing.

Normally, Z would be up on her feet again already, moving through the crowd, talking and dancing and laughing. There was something tight and unhappy in her chest tonight, though, and the drinks she'd had only exacerbated the feeling. She knew better than to drink when she was already upset, but she'd fucked up, like she had all day, like she had at the show.

It hadn't been a great day. Still, Z thought morosely, it was probably better that these days she was more likely to keep her unhappiness to herself than to turn it into fury at the whole world. That was number one on her list of proof that Charlotte leaving had taught her things, after all. It was a good list, Z was proud of it, but the one time she'd tried to explain it to Tennessee, Tennessee's face had gotten all pinched and sad. Now Z kept it to herself.

She sighed a little, slumping in closer to Annie, shifting her arm so that it was wrapped around Annie's shoulders. Annie adjusted her hold accordingly, her hand hot against Z's hip. Z tried to ignore it, like she'd been ignoring everything all day.

"You were a bit off, tonight," Annie said, voice low in Z's ear.

And foiled. For a moment, Z thought about denying it, or getting falsely affronted. It wouldn't do much good, though, not with her stupid fucking band – not with _Annie_ , who read Z disconcertingly well.

"Yeah," Z admitted.

Annie hummed a little under her breath, a fragment of the melody they were listening to. Z thought about the way she had kept losing count of the beat, stupid and unprofessional and not something she'd done during a show since she was eighteen. Every word had sounded wrong coming from her mouth – not the notes, but the emotion behind them. Z had felt like she was on her own up there, like she couldn't find her band. For a brief moment between songs, she'd wondered if she was about to have a panic attack.

"Did something happen, earlier?" Annie asked, sounding perfectly calm.

"I don't think so," Z said. She'd been okay in the morning, even after waking up in that bad mood. The waffles had been good, and she'd felt oddly settled and centred for hours. After lunch, though, that old feeling of restlessness had come back, like she wanted to scratch her way out of her own skin. It made her crazy, that feeling, and it didn't make sense, because she loved touring. Every tour, she'd hope it wouldn't come, and every tour it did. Z shook her head and laughed humourlessly. "Maybe."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Really, really not," Z said sharply. After a moment she felt guilty, and turned her head to nuzzle against the warm, soft skin of Annie's neck. "I just want to turn off my head."

Annie tilted her face down against Z's hair, and if Z closed her eyes, everything felt warm and semi-okay again, despite the noise of the party going on around them. "You were still good," Annie murmured. "You're always good. You just looked a little lost up there."

"I wasn't _good_ ," Z said bitterly. She sighed and straightened. "Thank you, though."

Annie tilted her head to the side and looked at Z, with an expression Z didn't entirely understand. Z shrugged and moved to stand up, but Annie's arm tightened where it was looped around Z's waist and Z fell back awkwardly. Annie pulled her in, her hold tight enough to make Z lose her breath a little, and Z felt her dress ride up at the back as Annie pulled her further back against her. No one would be able to see, but Z could feel the slightly rough material of Annie's dress all the way up to where her underwear began.

She breathed in sharply, heartbeat quickening.

"I said you were good, Z," Annie said mildly, her mouth brushing Z's ear.

Z swallowed hard. Something hot was curling in her stomach, and lower.

"Okay?" Annie said.

"Okay," Z agreed.

"Cool," Annie said, and put one hand on Z's knee, warm and dry, curling her fingers against Z's skin. "I think you should stay here for a while."

"Okay," Z said again, and Annie laughed softly in her ear. It was stupid, Z thought, because Annie's dress was slightly uncomfortable against her bare skin and Annie was holding on just a little too tight around her middle for Z to be able to breathe easily, but it was the best she'd felt all day.

\---

The last of the party guests left a little before four.

"Oh, thank the Lord," Tennessee said, flopping back on one of the single beds, and Annie pushed lightly at Z's hips.

"Up," she said, and Z stumbled to her feet, two spots of red on her cheeks. She hoped the room was dim and the others tipsy enough that they wouldn't notice. Annie grinned at her and went into the bathroom.

"How long have we go to sleep?" Laena asked, rummaging in her bag for pyjamas.

"Out of the hotel by eleven, bus by eleven-thirty," Tennessee said. "So not that long."

Z squinted at Tennessee, a little to distract herself from Laena getting changed unobtrusively in a corner of the room. "How come you can remember details?" Tennessee was notoriously bad at them after only a few drinks.

"I decided not to be sleep-deprived _and_ hungover tomorrow," Tennessee said.

"Huh," Z said. Now she thought about it, Laena sounded suspiciously sober too, and Annie hadn't had anything at least since Z had sat on her lap a few hours ago. Z had stuck to water since then, too, and she was suddenly very glad – she was feeling out of her depth at the moment enough as it was.

"Oh, God," Laena said, making an unhappy face at her bed.

"What is it?"

"Someone's spilled their drink all over my bed," Laena said. "Ugh, it reeks of beer. Gross."

"We've really got to find a better venue to host our after parties," Tennessee mused. Z nodded.

"Don't worry," Annie said, coming out of the bathroom in her pyjamas. "You can share with Z."

"What?" Z said, startled. "Why me?"

"You're the smallest," Annie said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, but." Z shifted from foot to foot. "It's a single bed."

"Z," Laena said, coming towards Z with her eyes wide and tragic. "My bed is _ruined_."

"We could ask the front desk," Z began weakly.

"At four AM?" Z didn't have to look at Tennessee to know she was rolling her eyes.

"Z." Laena clasped Z's hands and dragged them up to her chest. Laena slept in a thin, worn t-shirt and a pair of bright green Bonds underwear. She was biting her lip, fixing an earnest gaze on Z's face. Z didn't know where to look. "You remember," Laena continued, "how you said if I joined your band I could have _anything_ I wanted?"

"I remember that story," Annie said.

"Me, too," Tennessee agreed. "You offered up my whole wardrobe. And me, if I recall correctly."

" _Please_ ," Laena breathe.

"I hate you all," Z said, and the three of them broke down into laughter.

Laena squeezed her hand. "Thanks," she said brightly, and went and got into Z's bed.

Z went and changed into her pyjamas in the bathroom, taking her eyelashes off and giving the rest of her make-up a half-hearted attack before she decided to leave it properly for morning. When she went back into the bedroom, they were all tucked up in their various beds, murmuring quietly to each other. Tennessee sounded half-asleep already.

The beds weren't tiny, but they were singles, and there was no way to fit beside Laena without touching her. Z tried, for half a moment, but there wasn't much point to that, because Laena immediately rolled over and spooned up behind Z. She wrapped an arm around Z and cuddled up close, her fingers spread out wide on Z's stomach, against her pyjama top. Laena's hand was up precariously high, her fingertips brushing the underside of Z's breast. Z held perfectly still.

"Night, Z," Laena whispered. There was the faintest hint of laughter in her voice.

\---

It was one thing to go to sleep, with all her mental faculties mostly intact, with Laena that close. It was another entirely to wake up, from a stupidly sexy dream that Z didn't even want to begin to think about, with Laena sprawled on top of her, weighing Z down against the sheets. Laena was taller than Z, but she'd wriggled down so that she could tuck her head underneath Z's chin, one leg pushed between Z's.

Out of the corner of her eye, Z could just see Annie and Tennessee sitting in the corner bed together, their backs against the wall, talking in voices that were relatively low, considering. Probably they thought they were being quiet.

Z closed her eyes, biting her lip. Laena was so warm against her, felt so good, and Z couldn't help it. It was wrong, she knew, but she couldn't _help_ but shift up against Laena's hip where it was pressed in close to her, trying not to gasp out loud at how good the pressure felt.

"Well, look who's awake," Laena said, amused, and Z froze.

"Is she?" Tennessee sounded way too cheerful. "Good morning, Z, I didn't hear you wake up."

"You would, if you were this close," Laena said.

Colour rushed to Z's cheeks and she scrambled away from Laena, trying to twist out and off the bed. Z had just woken up, though, and Laena was _fast_. Before Z really knew what was going on, Laena had Z's wrists pinned above her head, and her knees firm on either side of Z's hips.

"Where are you going?" Laena asked, sounding curious.

"Laena," Z said, breathing coming short. "I want – let me _go_ —"

"I don't think that's what you do want, Z," Annie put in from the other bed.

"Annie's very observant," Tennessee said. "I'm a little embarrassed, I would never have picked up on it." She sounded faintly regretful.

"Picked up on _what_?" Z said, squirming a little. "Let me—"

Laena's grip on her wrists tightened, squeezing enough that Z thought she could almost feel the delicate bones there grinding against each other. She arched up helplessly against Laena, searching desperately for another point of contact, anything.

"Yeah, I thought so," Annie said, and Laena bent and kissed Z.

Z gasped again, struggling to get her hands free so she could pull Laena in closer to her, but Laena was stronger, just bit sharply at Z's bottom lip in reprimand. Z groaned, mouth falling open, and holy shit, there was Laena's tongue, hot and somehow unexpected against hers.

Laena was moving again, shifting against Z, and then she had her hipbone pressed against Z, just right for Z to grind up against her. There were far too many layers of clothing between them, fuck. Z's underwear was wet and a little sticky and it made the fabric slide oddly against her clit with every shift of her hips; she felt overheated and so turned on that she was shivering uncontrollably. It didn't help when Laena lay down closer, their bodies pressed tight together, Laena lining them up as well as she could with the height difference. Z's nipples were hard and aching, unbearably sensitive to the drag of cotton against them; she wanted to palm her breast with one hand, wanted to get them both properly naked.

But Laena held her fast, no matter how she tried to twist her hands away. It was too fucking good.

Over the roaring in her ears, Z heard a gasp from the other bed, and fuck, they could all see, all three of them were watching her like this. Z tilted her chin up, angling for another kiss, and Laena didn't hold out on her. The kiss was almost filthy, Laena's tongue stroking at the inside of Z's mouth. Laena moved so slow and languid, like she had all the time in the world. It made Z frantic.

There wasn't anything particularly graceful about this, at least not on her side of things, but Z had given up caring. She ground her clit up against the sharp press of Laena's hipbone, short, stunted little movements, trapped under Laena's weight as she was. Laena squeezed her wrists just once, and that was all she needed, the sharp flash of pain making her cry out and come, her hips jerking up against Laena.

"Fuck," Z said, voice rough and deeper than usual. "I – fuck."

"Hi," Laena whispered, and kissed her again, sweet all of a sudden. She still had a hold on Z's wrists, but it was gentle now, stroking her fingers over the skin in an almost apologetic way. Z wasn't attempting to get away anymore, either. She stared up at Laena, and Laena rolled off her and brought Z's hands to her mouth, kissing the very centre of each palm. Z swallowed. Her underwear was gross, and she felt sweaty. She needed a shower.

She couldn't move, not with Laena looking at her like that.

"It has come to our attention," Laena said, "that you might need a little more looking after than first realised."

"Tennessee's been doing her best," Annie added, "but we wanted to help out. You told us you needed us, remember?"

Z looked over at the other bed. Tennessee was leaning against Annie's shoulder, hair falling over her face. Z could just see one pink cheek. She wondered where Annie's hands were, under the blankets.

"Tenn?" she said, and Tennessee raised her head and looked at Z. Her bottom lip was red and swollen like she'd been biting it, and her eyes were a little glazed. She was gorgeous. Z stared at her, breath catching in her chest, and not quite sure what she was asking.

"Don't be scared," Tennessee told her, and bit her lip on an exhale. Z could just see the movement of the blankets as Tennessee pushed her hips forward, eyes closing for a second. "It's – it's going to be okay." She squeaked suddenly, and Z felt a smile twitch at the corner of her mouth. "Although," Tennessee added, breathless and laughing, "Annie is a little scary."

"In an awesome way," Annie said, unperturbed. Z kind of agreed.

Laena was still curled up against Z's side, holding her hands. When Z turned her head to look at her, Laena bit her lip. Z realised suddenly she wasn't the only nervous one here, for all her band's bravado. She felt a sudden rush of love for all of them.

"I remember everything I said," Z told Laena. She hesitated for a moment. "Anything you want, right?"

Laena started to smile. "That's right," she said, shifting a leg over Z's hip, holding Z down, keeping her there. "Anything I want," and Z closed her eyes and gave herself away, feeling like she was being given the world.


End file.
